302. Three-Hundred-Two. CCII.
That is the cumulative number of clothing items and shoes that I have (not counting socks, underwear, bags or accessories). So why do I still feel the need to shop? Why do I wake up, stare at my closet and feel like I have nothing to wear? How can 302 pieces of clothing make me feel like I don’t have enough? This is insanity. This is disgusting. This is not who I want to be.
I recently attended a Darling Dinner (hosted by Darling Magazine) where we discussed two gigantic topics: beauty vs. vanity and whether we shop for ourselves or others. I’m sure you can imagine how far down the rabbit hole a group of 20-or-so women could go with each topic. Both topics I’ve explored before, but these conversations truly served as a catalyst for my personal journey. Think of your most beautiful friend. Do you think she’s beautiful because of the way she looks or the clothes she wears? Probably not. She’s beautiful because of who she is and what she does. To strive for beauty is a holistic process and it certainly does not involve this season’s “it” shoe. Vanity is consuming, it’s lacking and it’s not confident. Now, I’m not saying that shopping is vanity and that it isn’t a form of creative expression. Clothing is a representation of ourselves and it’s fun to play in this realm. But shopping can most definitely be consuming and represent a feeling of need, want and not having enough of; this is the part of shopping that I wish to tackle.
I recently became a mother, changed careers and turned 30. 2014 has been a year of major changes and with the limited time that I have for myself, I want to spend it partaking in activities that nourish me from the inside out. Motherhood has been a beautifully selfless journey, so when I do get those cherry-picked moments to myself, I want to spend them doing the shit the matters. I want to volunteer my time, I want to work on my craft, I want to dance, I want to be outside, I want to sit in a park, I want to travel, I want to connect with others.
So here it goes…
6 months of no shopping begins today.
Yes, I’m interested to see how much money I can save and what bigger things I can achieve with that extra cash flow; but more importantly, I’m excited to see what sort of space this opens up in my life. I can also go off on another rant about disposable clothing vs. investment pieces and the environmental impact of this industry, but let’s save that for another day. I plan to focus these next 6 months living in gratitude for all that I do have and not feeling like I don’t have enough. Shopping therapy is fleeting, I’m ready to get creative with my closet and to focus my energy elsewhere.
Let the shopping fast commence.